take time for your self

Take time for self-care
By Marcia Francois, 2003-2007
First published 2003

I've been battling quite a bit with time management since the middle of February and have only just come to grips with my time a bit better. It seems like I'm not the only one though!

Many people have recently said to me that they're feeling quite tired and burnt out, very busy but not accomplishing much. I call it "doing the hamster thing". You know what it is that they do - they run around on those little wheels in their cages, going nowhere fast. And that’s not a very pleasant feeling. Trust me – I know!

I really believe that in order to manage your time better, you need to decide what's important to you and what's not. If you don't decide, you can be sure that other people will decide for you.

If something is important to you, you will make time for it. I used to say things like, "I don't have enough time for exercise because I get home from work too late." One day I realised that that's absolute nonsense. Obviously I was making work a higher priority than having a fit and healthy body. It's as simple as that. Hmmm…

So this month I want you to take time to focus on yourself. I can just hear all the busy mothers out there saying things like, "but my children need me." Listen, it's not a selfish thing to do - instead, it only makes you a better person. I'm also very driven and have hundreds of things on the go so I do know what it's like. But you can’t give what you don’t have.

There are seven areas to everyone's life - spiritual, work, financial, family, friends, health/physical and personal. We constantly give and give and because we all lead such busy lives, it's very easy for that last section to slip. Hopefully that will be changing soon.

This year I decided that because my personal development is extremely important to me, I need to start scheduling time just for me. What I've been doing is scheduling two nights every month to focus on me. If I find interesting worksheets, quizzes or e-books on the internet, I print them and do or read them in this self-time too. I don't know about you but sometimes I read a book and at the time I'm too lazy to fetch some paper and do the exercises. Now I note them down and do all these exercises during my self-care time.

my favourite type of self-care!

You can enjoy your time pampering yourself with a lovely bubble bath, paint your toenails or read a favourite book. Or buy a favourite magazine and read it over some coffee and cake at a quiet coffee shop. Or book yourself on a workshop. I do regular talks and workshops and while I love it, I do enjoy receiving now and again. So every year, I attend at least two workshops.

For all the unstructured people out there, you're probably thinking, "where's the spontaneity?" I'll do a Dr Phil and ask you this, "how's the spontaneity been working for you?" I also tried the spontaneity thing and I never seemed to get around to things that were important to me!

I've really found this time of self-care very useful and I know that you will too. You'll be able to really think about what's working for you and what's not. I suggest that you buy a pretty notebook, and write it all down. There's something very special about committing things to paper instead of having it all milling around in your head.

My sister calls her personal time "Shelley time". Repeat three times: It's not a sin to have (insert own name here) _____________ time. Very good!

Download the worksheet but more importantly, take some action. You are so very worth it!

(c) Marcia Francois
Marcia Francois is a personal life coach and professional organiser who teaches busy people how to have more time, less stress and a more organised and fulfilled life. Visit http://takechargesolutions.org/ for your free Organise your Home e-book and other helpful tips.

The power of habits

the power of habits - by Marcia Francois
first published in Feb 2003

I’m going to start off with a really powerful quote by Mike Murdock, which goes, “the secret of your success is hidden in your daily routine”. I saw another good one too the other day that said, “successful people do what unsuccessful people are not prepared to do”. And that’s exactly my point; there are hundreds of little things we either are doing or not doing that affect the degree of success that we’ve achieved.

A habit is an action done so many times that we don’t even have to think consciously about doing it anymore.

Most people agree that it takes 21 days to form a habit and only 3 days to break it. For example, when we were very small, we were all trained to brush our teeth every morning. The toothbrush with toothpaste was given to us and we dutifully brushed our teeth every day. Now, I don’t know anyone at my age (!) who has to really think about brushing his or her teeth. I know that I stumble to the bathroom, half-asleep, and brush my teeth automatically. Why? It’s a habit.

If you take time to think about your daily routine, you’ll notice lots of good habits like driving within the speed limit, drinking 2L of water daily, etc. A few years ago, I decided that I needed to start drinking more water. So on 1 January 1998, I started forcing myself to drink 2L of water every day. This habit took hold in only 14 days because after the first two weeks, it was easy and it’s been that way ever since.

Now, in the same way that good habits are formed, bad habits are also created just as easily. I know of people who start saving, say R100 every month, and everything goes well for three or four months. Then they decide to go on holiday and stop saving for one month. The snag is that it doesn’t end up being just one month, because the habit they were creating has been broken. The next month it’s easier to spend that R100 on clothes, and after the third month, they’re back to square one!

So this month, I want to encourage you to think about some good habits you want to start implementing and some bad habits that you need to replace with good ones.

If you currently have a bad habit at work of shuffling paper around and not dealing with it, start this month by being disciplined and either filing it, working on it or throwing it away. When you’re tempted to just throw it back into your in-tray or start making a pile on your desk, STOP!

Remember that you have the power to break that bad habit and start creating some good ones. And the same goes for driving – if you’re like me and let other drivers on the road irritate you, stop and tell yourself that you’re going to replace all that negative behaviour with something positive. Maybe you need to start saying things like, “I am perfectly calm and stress-free in traffic.”

Action challenge
1. Print out the habits worksheet.
2. If you work outside the home, copy it so that you have one at home and one at work.
3. Read through your list every day to remind yourself of the habits.
4. Start implementing it. Make like Nike and “just do it”


By the way, this ties in really nicely with a blog post I wrote recently, my daily steps to success. If you haven’t already read it, go on over and see what I wrote.

© Marcia Francois 2003-2007
Marcia Francois is a personal life coach and professional organiser who teaches people how to have more time, less stress and a more fulfilling life. Visit http://www.takechargesolutions.org/ for your free Organise your Home e-book and other helpful tips.